Prologue

        

 This chapter is written from Nora's point of view, in first person. Remember that these are her thoughts, as she is going through a difficult time... not necessarily fact.

 This story takes off in 2000 when the train wreck occurred.

       I staggered into the bar all soaking wet and looking lost. Finally I sat down at the bar stool next to a guy who called himself big Joe. When my confused eyes met his, he asked in a rough voice " Is the lady Ok." "The lady's just peachy" I finally answered as the bartender made his way in my direction to take my order. " I'll have whatever he's having, and make it a double.

       In my rush to pretentend that I was anywhere but here, I took out everything in my purse and dumped it on the conunter. My credit cards, photographs, drivers liscence and even a note I had recieved nearly 10 years ago, all went in the ash try where I proceeded to light the whole thing on fire until everything was ashes.Tonight was going to releive myself of all the bad memories and just be someone else for a few hours.

I stood up from the stool after downing my third glass of something I  had never heard of before, and carefully removed my leather jacket to reveal a red sequined strapless top and leather pants. I was in no mood for games tonight; that was perfectly clear when I threw the jacket on the counter, downed another glass and proceeded to do a kind of strip tease I hadn't done in ages. I was so wrapped up in the music and the dance that I almost Missed the door opening and Sam stepping in.

        Nora: GREAT! Just GREAT

       Sam: So THIS is how you've been spending your nights huh?

        

     Nora: The last thing I need is a sermon from the worlds biggesst
  hippocrit. GO AWAY and leave me be. I'm in no mood for your high and    mighty lectures. I do what I want, when I want, with whoever I dam  well feel like it. kapeesh.

        

 Sam: Nora, you're the mother of my son and I'm worried about you.

        

Nora: That dosn't make you my keeper... ( pause) I miss him Ok? I
 know that hurts you but it's the way it is. I just want to
dissapear for a few hours and forget that it's MY fault he's dead.
That I killed a man I loved with everything I had.

        
Sam: and what about Matthew? can you pry yourself away from your
 greif and self pity for 5 seconds to think about your son? Or is a
 dead man still the most important thing to you?

        

 Nora( slappping him): Go to hell!!!!!!( pause) I love my son Sam. He's all I have. And I need him just as much as he needs me. DON'T threaten me with that. it's a mistake. ( pause) But i can't snap my fingers and make myself stop missing him. I'll always miss him. I'll always wish it was me instead of him. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME DAM IT!!! Why did he have to save my life again? Couldn't he have, just once, let me be the one to die? at least then I wouldn't have to deal with the mess my life has become.

And with that I walked away.

        

        Mean while, in another country far from Llanview a man wakes up in a hospital clutching a picture of a redhead. He couldn't speak and  could barely move but when questioned about the photo in his hands all he could manage to mutter is " Heart."